Excerpt from a great article from Danish tantra teacher Mihai Stoian: www.mihaistoian.net
“Tantra actually warns against the dangers of having sex without profound love, respect and commitment towards your partner. “Love-making” is a much better way to describe it, because this is what you do when you integrate tantric practices into your intimate life: you create love. Being always based upon the cultivation of our loving capacity, Tantra is never an opportunity for immoral practice; it requires an attitude that can be called “Spiritual Morality”. This attitude is rooted in the deep understanding and application of universal moral principles that can be found, in one way or another, throughout spiritual science. These principles may not be exactly that which is socially accepted at a particular historical moment, as the social norms of morality change very much over time, and they also differ from culture to culture.
The norms of tantric morality on the other hand are universal and timeless in their applicability. Tantra teaches many techniques that can be practiced in a couple, there are also many other individual techniques. It has never been exclusive towards those engaged in love relationships. What many do not know, is that just like yoga, Tantra is not a religion, but a precise science of personal transformation. When practiced correctly, the tantric teachings can actually help you deepen your understanding of your own religion. However its teachings are universal, just like mathematics or physics. Through genuine Tantra, life itself becomes a joyous series of lessons, teaching us all that we need to know, giving the chance of transforming for the better, supporting us to realize our full potential. The ultimate goal of genuine tantric training is to help us realize that we are essentially spiritual beings, blissful and timeless, being all bound together in spirit in an intrinsic web of connections that reveals the wonders of our Eternal Source.”
Mihai’s words resonante with me so deeply in my personal tantra practice where soul connection and harmony on every level: physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual level generate tremendous levels of love, safety trust, honesty and well being for me. Sex is a powerful, creative, generative force and it amplifies whatever is there between the partners who engage in it. If love and respect are present sex amplifies them. If sex is used for conquest, one person’s ego will temporarily get inflated and the other one’s deflated and the soul is left completely out of that equation.
To me a truly tantric experience is the opposite of egoic power play sex where love, trust and sacred sexual communion and alchemy–which are the heart of soul of Tantra– are missing and where sex is a commodity traded on the dating or marriage market leading to an erosion of one’s deepest feeling of value. Instead, I feel that a genuine Tantric orientation will always create a feeling of fullness and wholeness where nothing is missing and everything is there to be discovered in a profound, loving, honoring connection to oneself, another and to all of life.
I am beginning an inquiry into the world of One Taste and finding a movement towards great sexual freedom, authentic communication and multi-dimensional experience there that can be tremendously healing for many people who want to open more or are healing from sexual abuse, neglect or repression and are ready to embrace a sex positive environment. The notion of divine communion through sexual meditation may be new for most people and but has always been central to any tantric practice. One Taste’s founder Nicole Daedone’s book “Slow Sex” shows us how to slow way down sexually, become fully present and achieve deeper levels of physical and spiritual communion. To me this slowing down is the beginning of sex as an ecstatic art form. There is excellent training in authentic communication offered there as well so I am glad this work is reaching people in the main stream. http://www.onetaste.us/
Everyone who practices Tantra has their own definitions and freedom, diversity and non-judgement are great tenants of Tantra. Everyone should have whatever experience their hearts and soul’s desire and we cannot judge what is right for another in terms of intimacy. It is a live and let live world that we want to create within the context of Tantra but one where healing, honesty, love and respect are always paramount.